On our best behaviour: Lesbian-parented families in early childhood education

Abstract

Aotearoa New Zealand's early childhood curriculum document Te Whariki (Ministry of Education, 1996) consistently promotes strong partnerships with all families and whanau. The foreword, introduction, and implementation sections emphasise a curriculum commitment to collaboration with families and whanau. Despite this, there is little evidence of positive visibility for same-gender families in early childhood centres. Gunn and Surtees (2004) have worked consistently to address issues of homophobia and stereotyping with early childhood student teachers and teachers over last decade, yet admit they have witnessed little change. Surtees, in Gunn et al. (2004), describes witnessing a lack of support from both teachers and parents when children mentioned their same-gender parents. She reports hearing homophobic remarks that no one took opportunity to question. When teachers reassure families that boys dressing in skirts are not going to grow up to be gay, underlying message is clear: homosexual is not okay (Gunn et al., 2004). These messages permeate social world of child. The purpose of study that informs this article was to investigate experiences of a group of gay mothers who had children attending early childhood centres. The study aimed to find out which practices supported, or otherwise, inclusion of these families, and whether Te Whariki intentions were being met. The research has wide-reaching significance for wellbeing of children from gay- and lesbian-parented families, and for gay and lesbian youth. Children develop identity in a multifaceted manner, which includes political dimensions embodied in social world of which they are a part (Williams & McKenna, 2002). The attitudes of others have a significant influence on children's developing sense of self and wellbeing. If positive attitudes towards people of diverse sexualities are evident in early childhood education, greater acceptance in education sectors could result. A tension existed for mothers in study between wanting to be seen as like any and their knowledge that acceptance afforded to gay and lesbian people is often tenuous. This tension was evident in juxtaposition between warmth with which majority of teachers welcomed families and lack of provision made for lesbian-parented families in most of early childhood centres. The tension sometimes resulted in mothers not addressing their concerns with teachers. Staying silent about not being included may result from feelings of being other, and therefore not wanting to appear demanding. These feelings could be alleviated if family diversity was acknowledged and embraced by teachers. Theoretical framework The theoretical framework for this research was informed by queer theories and Michel Foucault's (1977) thinking about how society ensures compliance by using techniques of discipline and control. Heteronormativity emerged as most significant construct from queer theories. Heteronormativity is pervasive expectation that people are heterosexual, and it is underpinned by constant reinforcement in all aspects of our lives (Warner, 1993). Adrienne Rich (1980) suggests that understanding that families are comprised of a man and a woman and their children permeates every element of human existence. This pervasive supposition is aptly described by Sedgwick (1991, p. 68) as the deadly elasticity of heterosexist presumption. The common assumption that families are formed by a heterosexual couple means that any family that does not fit this pattern is likely to be viewed as other and to experience resulting stigma. Even if overt homophobia is not displayed, expectation of heterosexuality has a profound influence. In order to work towards a more socially just society, listening to voice of other is paramount. …