Abstract

This hermeneutic phenomenological study, informed by Max van Manen and Martin Heidegger, describes what it is like for four older women to live with depression. Each participant was interviewed up to three times. Interviews were semi-structured, audiotaped and transcribed verbatim. Data were analysed using van Manen's methodological themes and Heidegger's philosophical concepts of Being-in-the-world and Being-with-others. The themes that emerged were: self-loathing; being overwhelmed by the feelings; hiding from the world; the struggle of everyday life; Being-alone; misinterpreting self and other people; the stigma of mental illness - society and self; and seeking understanding from other people. The findings revealed that depression had a major effect on the women's beliefs about themselves, resulting in a self-loathing and a feeling of failure. The participants described how their self-loathing caused them to believe that other people thought badly of them, which led to their withdrawal. Their inability to connect contributed to them feeling alone and isolated. These women were more able to talk to other people when they were met with understanding. This has implications for the therapeutic nurse-patient relationship, which is fundamental to mental health nursing, because the relationship should be based upon an understanding of the patient's world.

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