O-171 Psychological support: the light in the darkness of my infertility journey

Abstract

Abstract Sandrine Dumont shares her own personal patient experience : « my infertility journey started at the age of 32, when I was finally diagnosed with endometriosis after years of pain. I went through one year of natural but monitored baby trials, 4 artificial inseminations, a break-up with my then partner, and 3 IVF with my new partner : these 3 IVF took place during a short period of 5 months. First IVF was in a public hospital, who kicked us out after first IVF failed. Other two IVF took place in a private hospital in Paris, who incidentally diagnosed PCOS : both IVF were also unsuccessful. I was physically and psychologically exhausted, and then decided to take a break from fertility treatments. We expected information and guidance from both fertility centers to help us through this. It never came. During all these years, we’ve been appalled with how very few information we were given from all the medical staff. We were never prepared for failure at all. We felt treated badly, even in a rude and sometimes brutal way, by some professionals. Patient care was almost inexistent. We felt like a mere number on a list, not worth being explained anything or just answered our legitimate and simple questions about our own case. We were left alone with our doubts and questions: how could we make an enlightened decision as whether to continue treatments or not, with no information to nurture this decision ? It seemed an endless dark tunnel with no exit. Then came guilt, loneliness and depression. I searched for external psychological support to help us get through this: this was not easy, since psychological weakness was something to be very ashamed of at the time, in French society. Psychological support turned out to be the light in our darkness. I found a psychiatrist to whom I went weekly for almost two years. This is what it took to heal : accepting failure, accepting my own limits to what I was ready to endure to try to be a mother, accepting to be different from what is expected of a woman in our traditional French society. This therapy was a lifesaver. There also came the association Collectif Bamp, thanks to whom I met a two women in the same situation as me. Knowing I was not alone just changed everything : it was the first day of the rest of my life. Today, 10 years later, I am now an active member of Bamp association : I try to be there for patients as Bamp was there for me. I share my experience, so people don’t feel alone. I advocate pyschological support and real patient care.