Abstract
Romantic pursuit decisions often require a person to risk one of the two errors: pursuing a romantic target when interest is not reciprocated (resulting in rejection) or failing to pursue a romantic target when interest is reciprocated (resulting in a missed romantic opportunity). In the present research, we examined how strongly people wish to avoid these two competing negative outcomes. When asked to recall a regrettable dating experience, participants were more than three times as likely to recall a missed opportunity rather than a rejection (Study 1). When presented with romantic pursuit dilemmas, participants perceived missed opportunities to be more regrettable than rejection (Studies 2–4), partially because they perceived missed opportunities to be more consequential to their lives (Studies 3 and 4). Participants were also more willing to risk rejection rather than missed romantic opportunities in the context of imagined (Study 4) and actual (Study 5) pursuit decisions. These effects generally extended even to less secure individuals (low self-esteem, high attachment anxiety). Overall, these studies suggest that motivation to avoid missed romantic opportunities may help to explain how people overcome fears of rejection in the pursuit of potential romantic partners.
Highlights
Romantic pursuit decisions often require a person to risk one of the two errors: pursuing a romantic target when interest is not reciprocated or failing to pursue a romantic target when interest is reciprocated
We propose that the domain of romantic pursuit may be one such exception: people may perceive the counterfactual that is produced by a missed opportunity (“If only I would have acted on my feelings for Person X, we would be together”) to be more regrettable than the counterfactual that is produced by a rejection (“If only I would not have acted on my feelings, I would not have been rejected”)
A planned comparison test indicated that the inaction/interested condition was more regrettable than the action/uninterested outcome condition, p
Summary
Romantic pursuit decisions often require a person to risk one of the two errors: pursuing a romantic target when interest is not reciprocated (resulting in rejection) or failing to pursue a romantic target when interest is reciprocated (resulting in a missed romantic opportunity). Participants were more willing to risk rejection rather than missed romantic opportunities in the context of imagined (Study 4) and actual (Study 5) pursuit decisions These effects generally extended even to less secure individuals (low self-esteem, high attachment anxiety). Overall, these studies suggest that motivation to avoid missed romantic opportunities may help to explain how people overcome fears of rejection in the pursuit of potential romantic partners. When people are in the process of making a decision, they often imagine how much regret they would experience if they made the wrong decision (Zeelenberg & Pieters, 2004, 2007) These anticipated feelings of regret can play an important role in guiding people’s choices (e.g., Reb, 2008; Wroe, Turner, & Salskovskis, 2004). Together, anticipated regret explained 57% of the variance in vaccination decisions—much more variance than other plausible contenders (e.g., perceived benefits and risks)
Sign-in/Register to view highlights & summary Talk to us
Join us for a 30 min session where you can share your feedback and ask us any queries you have
Schedule a callDisclaimer: All third-party content on this website/platform is and will remain the property of their respective owners and is provided on "as is" basis without any warranties, express or implied. Use of third-party content does not indicate any affiliation, sponsorship with or endorsement by them. Any references to third-party content is to identify the corresponding services and shall be considered fair use under The CopyrightLaw.
