No Matter What: An Adoptive Family's Story of Hope, Love and Healing

Abstract

This book is a first-hand narration by Sally Donovan of her and her husband Rob's journey through infertility and the adoption of siblings Jamie and Rose (the names are pseudonyms). The book is funny and moving and has great narrative drive. I found it compelling. Donovan does not give advice, nor link to the wider picture of adoption, and this works well. It is not attempting to be a textbook. It is intensely individual story, but this story speaks to very many wider themes. I will briefly mention three here: the portrayal of social work and other professions, the need for adoption support and lasting impact of early trauma. It was gratifying, as a social work educator, to read really positive accounts of a couple of social workers. Mel, who assesses them as adopters and supports them through the early stages, ‘is all warmth and confidence and loveliness' (p. 86). Later, Aiesha advocates for the family with the school and arranges therapeutic support. In between, there are a couple of social workers who ineffectively share Jamie's life story with him at inopportune moments or appear to flounder in the face of the family's needs. Adopted children and their parents need allies and advocates and particularly people who will listen rather than make assumptions. Similarly, there are portrayals of teachers, health professionals, friends and acquaintances whose small acts of care or indifference have a large effect on the family. There is a lovely moment in the book when the children emerge beaming at the end of their first week in a new school with head teachers' certificates and a party invitation. This is in stark contrast to the previous school where they were simply labelled naughty by staff and peers alike. This book exemplifies how personal attitudes and knowledge are so important in all encounters with professionals.