No Cheating, No Dying: I Had a Good Marriage. Then I Tried to Make It Better

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Back to table of contents Previous article Next article Book ReviewsFull AccessNo Cheating, No Dying: I Had a Good Marriage. Then I Tried to Make It BetterJeffrey L. Geller, M.D., M.P.H., , and Marcia Kraft Goin, M.D., Ph.D.Jeffrey L. GellerSearch for more papers by this author, M.D., M.P.H., Editor, and Marcia Kraft GoinSearch for more papers by this author, M.D., Ph.D.Published Online:1 Jan 2014https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ps.650107AboutSectionsView articleView PDFView EPUB ToolsAdd to favoritesDownload CitationsTrack Citations ShareShare onFacebookTwitterLinked InEmail View articleby WeilElizabeth; New York, Scribner, 2013, 192 pagesElizabeth Weil’s book No Cheating, No Dying is an amusingly written commentary on how she and her “great catch” husband of ten years briefly explored eight ways to improve their marriage. These first-hand accounts are edifying in terms of how the therapies function and how couples and individuals might experience them.An example of the humor and reality is the description of their brief experience with couples therapy. In her comments to Ms. Weil, the therapist sees Dan as an anxious neurotic rather than as a charming obsessive: “You think he (Dan) just wants something from you but on the other hand you find Dan unavailable because he’s not relating to you. You think those attentions make you feel smothered and make him feel alone.” After they leave the session, Dan says, “What’s wrong with that lady anyway? She reminds me of Stephen Hawking.” Thus the two move on to have a delightful day.In contrast, the author describes a personally valuable experience with a “marriage education” instructor. In the session the author is told that her job was “not to move the conversation forward but . . . to empathize.” This she found very helpful and enlightening.The next several chapters follow the couple in their explorations of sex therapy, anger management, marriage education group workshops, and something called Mastering the Impulse of Love.A novelist and erudite writer, the author fills the book with comments by well-known authors such as Joan Didion and Anton Chekhov. The book does not delve deeply into the project’s eight types of marriage therapy. Instead, one has a view into the joys and problems within the author’s marriage and a brief look at how the various therapies function. I recommend this book for those who want to learn how one might experience various therapies and for those who just want a delightful read.Dr. Goin is professor of clinical psychiatry with Keck School of Medicine, University of Southern California, Los Angeles.The reviewer reports no competing interests. FiguresReferencesCited byDetailsCited ByNone Volume 65Issue 1 January 2014Pages e09-e09 Metrics The reviewer reports no competing interests. History Published online 1 January 2014 Published in print 1 January 2014