Navigating Conflicting Ideals of Masculinity: A Qualitative Study of the Experiences of Male Partners of Women with Vulvodynia

Abstract

ABSTRACT Vulvodynia, a long-term genital pain disorder with a high lifetime prevalence, profoundly impacts both the affected women and their partners. However, the experiences of these partners have been under-researched. Using Braun and Clarke’s thematic analysis, this qualitative study explored the experiences of male partners of women with vulvodynia. In individual interviews with seven men (20–32 years), four themes were identified: “Trying to be a good and caring partner,” “Fear of sexual and emotional rejection,” “Feelings of insecurity and being misled,” and “Keeping up the façade.” Despite efforts to support their partners, the men often faced rejection, leading to insecurities about their attractiveness, the relationship’s future, and their ability to conform to social expectations. They coped by concealing insecurities from their partners and overemphasizing traditional masculinity among peers. We discuss these results using sexual script theory, suggesting that gendered sexual scripts play a significant role in relationships with vulvodynia, with prevailing cultural assumptions regarding masculinity challenging men’s ability to be simultaneously caring and sexual. As a result, the men found themselves negotiating two contrasting ideals associated with masculine behavior: those of good caregiver and assertive, virile sexual partner. Our research suggests that male partners of women with vulvodynia tend to be left alone to deal with the resulting ambivalence and distress. Supporting these men could benefit both parties in managing vulvodynia.