“My Shawshank Redemption”: A Self-Narrative Inquiry of an EFL Academic’s Emotions and Identities on Research Journey

Abstract

While there has been a surge of studies on English as a foreign language (EFL) teachers’ emotions and identities in research engagement, limited attention has been paid to how they integrate teacher and researcher identities and negotiate different emotions in research practice over time. Drawing on data from a variety of sources over a decade, this longitudinal self-narrative study investigated how an EFL academic (the author) negotiated and navigated conflicting identities and emotions in the process of becoming a teacher-researcher in a changing context. The findings unfolded the changes in her emotions and professional identity development over the course of her 10-year research journey, beginning as a discontented and perplexed performer with weak emotional resilience, progressing to a pressured and strenuous follower with moderate emotional resilience, and finally becoming a relentless and resolute integrator with strong emotional resilience. Her final integration of teacher and researcher identities represented her redemption on this bumpy journey. Implications for EFL teachers, school leaders, and education policymakers on how to help EFL academics integrate professional identities were also discussed.