Abstract
In an era of individualization, Chinese individuals often have to face the challenge of balancing their personal choices with their filial obligations. While a host of “filial strategies” are well-documented in traditional areas of filial contention such as elderly care and relating with in-laws, there are none in the area of sheng nü or “leftover women’s” marital choices. This study sets out to explore the “marital filial strategies” of unmarried Chinese professional women who face filial contentions in their “marriage timing” and “partner choice.” It was found that the combination of the filial strategies of “deferring” to parents’ matchmaking demands, followed by “negotiation” of one’s partner choice, led to the ideal condition of “altruistic individualism” that “combined personal freedom with engagement with others.” On a wider level, sheng nü’s filial strategies of marital choice could serve as an exemplar for all modern Chinese individuals who strove to conduct congenial filial relationships without compromising their own ideals.
Highlights
In recent years, an important area of filial contention had appeared as a result of Chinese women marrying later in life following their rising educational levels and professional statuses
Given how this study’s aim was to illustrate the process of finding a balance between asserting one’s individual choices and fulfilling parental demands, or achieving “altruistic individualism,” only those informants (14) who experienced some form of filial contention in their marital choices in the areas of “marriage timing” and/or “partner choice” would be included, and their filial strategies of “deference” and/or “negotiation” would be discussed below
The two main areas of filial contention faced by 14 sheng nü were “marriage timing” and “partner choice.”
Summary
An important area of filial contention had appeared as a result of Chinese women marrying later in life following their rising educational levels and professional statuses. Having lost their previous bearings, individuals were forced to rely on their own “reflexivity” and self-actualizing spirit to resolve their own practical and existential dilemmas This individualizing process was considered to be a positive one by Beck and Beck-Gernsheim (2002) as they believed that heightened human reflexivity could have the potential to rectify existing socioeconomic and ecological problems and improve the overall human condition: The decline of values which cultural pessimists are so fond of decrying is opening up the possibility of escaping from the creed of “bigger, better, more” in a period that is living beyond its means ecologically and economically. Under the new ethics of “altruistic individualism,” both the “self” and “others” would benefit, and cooperation between the two was the way toward survival in the late modern era (Beck & Beck-Gernsheim, 2002)
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