Mourning Catalyzed by the Loss of Hope: Mourning What Wasn’t

Abstract

ABSTRACT The discussion of David Price’s paper focuses on the central question Price is asking, “How do you mourn the actual death of a parent who abandoned you to a childhood in foster care at the age of 5?” Since David was abandoned by his mother at such a young age, I argue that it is not possible to mourn what he has lost, because he didn’t have the opportunity to grow up with his mother. Rather the loss was sudden, traumatic and ambiguous, all at the same time. Since his mother has actually died, following the presentation and publication of his earlier paper, “Changing the Narrative; Refusing the Script,” in which he bared his story for the “gaze of the world to see,” David has been able to mourn what he has lost. And sadly, what he has come to recognize is that what he lost is a “self-object” connection he never had. However, with the loss of hope that comes with actual death, it has been possible to mourn the mother he lost so many years ago. Sadly, and ironically, mourning has been catalyzed by the loss of hope.