Mother needs a bigger “helper”: A critique of “wine mom” discourse as conformity to hegemonic intensive motherhood

Abstract

Abstract“Wine mom” discourse encourages American women to self‐deprecatingly bond over the stressors of parenting and touts alcohol use as necessary means for coping and escapism. Before the added stress of the COVID‐19 pandemic, whereby alcohol sales and consumption increased in the United States, rates of heavy drinking and alcohol‐related illnesses among US women have been steadily increasing. Exceeding the clinical markers of responsible alcohol use, “wine mom” discourse normalizes an inextricable link between alcohol misuse and expectations of (White, middle‐class) motherhood. Online communities and businesses emphasize “wine mom” discourse for self‐acceptance and bonding in response to the impossible demands of hegemonic motherhood. In this critique of “wine mom” discourse, we argue that although alcohol consumption is commonly touted as self‐care, this messaging operates in toxic ways that harms women and reinforces patriarchy. Applying Merton's strain theory, we argue that “wine mom” trends and related discourse encompass a harmful form of conformity, if not false resistance, to the strain of flawed cultural goals and lacking institutionalized supports for American mothers. We call for true rebellion, emphasizing positive discourse as well as structural changes and policy reforms to dismantle patriarchal barriers and hegemonic motherhood constraints to better support American families.