Monologue of a Russian Woman #4

Abstract

Monologue of a Russian Woman #4 Maria Malinovskaya (bio) Translation from the Russian Click for larger view View full resolution Victoria Lomasko, from the graphic reportage A Generational Battle (2021), from the book La última artista soviética (Barcelona: Godall edicions, 2022) / Courtesy of the artist i feel personal guilt in this conflict lots of people talk about collective guiltbut i don't think that it's collectivefor me for me it's personal guilt well how comei live in this country pay taxeswhich pay for weapons and feed the army i didn't always votejust didn't go sometimes to the elections i wasn't an activist i didn't go out to the protestswhen they passed the lawdiscriminating against lgbtq people's rightspropaganda for minors and now they're going to apply it to everyone this means all literature will be prohibitedalmost all in society we are like streamsmade up of some kind of forceand until we become visiblewe don't existfor the people who make decisions and i feel guilty about thisthat i wasn't visible politics despite the fact that i worked for the statedidn't take up a lot of space in my life for me people were more importanti never refused to helpto consultyou could always just call me politics turned intoa high-quality approach to businessbut it shouldn't have been like that and i feel guiltyi should have been more active [End Page 46] gone outtalkedprovedwrittenwarnedfound the wordsexplained if every one of us will do somethingthe situation will start to change ________ this is not the cancellation of russian cultureit is just the pain of ukrainianspowerful to such a degree the desire to be understoodthat is, understand us when they bomb usunderstand us it can be simple nowsit at home can one under these circumstancespublish booksdate, read poemsin russian? probably yes but probably stillnot all texts can be read compassion is one thingpoetry is another you can make a certain gesturean antimilitaristic one say that it shouldn't be like this that this is a war crime there is support in thiseven though this too is you know painfulin russian like how after the second world warpeople would hear german spokenand start shakingthat's probably what this is like nowrussian makes people shake this is not russian's faultthe circumstances are to blame it's a disaster over there of coursebut over here everyone is also horrified and you too might havethe need to say somethingto take part in something many people are trying to writeto somehow send the signal "i feel your pain i'm here i'm nearby so don't think there are rocks here" this signalmay go out into the voidbut sometimes this is importantfor the persongiving it Editorial note: Turn on page 58 to read the translator's biography. Maria Malinovskaya Maria Malinovskaya, born in Belarus, is a Moscow-based poet who writes in Russian. She is a PhD student in contemporary poetry studies at the National Academy of Sciences of Belarus and author of two books of documentary and language poetry. Her poetry has appeared in translation in English, Spanish, Italian, Lithuanian, Ukrainian, Belarusian, and Polish. Her poem "white-red-white flag," based on the events of the Belarusian protests, was honored with a 2021 Poesia Prize. Ainsley Morse Ainsley Morse teaches in the Russian department at Dartmouth College and is a translator of Russian, Ukrainian, and former Yugoslav literatures. Her research focuses on the literature and culture of the postwar Soviet period, particularly unofficial or "underground" poetry, as well as contemporary russophone poetry, East European avant-gardes, and children's literature. Copyright © 2023 World Literature Today and the Board of Regents of the University of Oklahoma