Mentoring at Midlife: Views from Two Sides of a Key Relationship

Abstract

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. --Albert Schweitzer It is long evident that college campuses have been evolving considerably. Adult learners play a key and welcome role, challenging assumptions about formal learning and its delivery, with institutions themselves reassessing long-held beliefs and procedures, protocols and hierarchies, participation and roles of both student and faculty alike, and the reciprocal relationship between them (Bash, 2003). We in the academic community profoundly affect students and their perceptions of an institution and the faculty comprising it (Backus, 1984). Keeping this in mind, the U.S. Department of Education's National Center for Education Statistics notes that, Nontraditional students are much more likely than traditional students to leave postsecondary education without a (2002, p. 12), and significantly, Nontraditional students are most at risk for leaving during their first year, regardless of their degree objective (2002, p. 17). Retention success or failure may be tied strongly to the co-created key student/professor relationships (Knowles, 1980), but not solely those within classroom or academic advising contexts. Connecting with students from the outset and being mindful of their progress beyond the immediate concerns of course completions and degree requirements can influence goodness of fit, based as it is on a host of elements big and small, personal and impersonal. I approach this topic as a recent midlife student myself, but now college teacher. While not claiming universality of view, fresh participation from both sides may help shed light on this potentially delicate, perhaps ignored, but nonetheless important relationship between teacher and student (Williams, 2001), prompting further thought and response. San Francisco 1989 found me, a mid-40s, self-taught, licensed general contractor with a developed clientele, and a project featured in Metropolitan Home magazine. Any alteration from that surround was not remotely visible. However, that August, an unexpected conversation changed everything. Following this profound rekindling, I reassessed my current circumstances, long-term ideals and direction, and was determined to take hold of something, arguably drifting for many years: my life. To that end, I initiated steps towards where I am now. Knowing that my undergraduate degree in music would not bear fruit, nor was I so directed; therefore, I recognized the need for a completely new and different orientation. The process of examining how I had come to this place in life and speculating on how others might have fared led me to the behavioral sciences and education fields, where I remain. First were two Harvard Graduate School of Education (HGSE) years (Ed. M., 1993; Certificate of Advanced Studies (CAS), 1994); then I pursued a doctorate at Boston University (Ed.D. 2001) in just over four years. This required considerable effort and support, the latter provided in large doses by the woman with whom I had the pivotal conversation and subsequently married. The Harvard experience was especially challenging, stimulating, and exciting, in part from having been away from school for 19 years and, being quite frankly, giddy for moving from the construction trades to constructive developmentalism. Boston University's (BU) coursework was less exploratory as it was more directed towards the specific career goal of the terminal degree. Not surprisingly, professors at each university were highly knowledgeable, accomplished, well-regarded, personally affable, and, in general, approximately my age, certainly not more than a partial generation older, with some perhaps younger. Immediately I felt welcome and comfortable, typically connecting around cultural experiences, events, and views held in common within our generational cohort. …