Abstract

The internet is rife with opportunities to participate in dating practices, discourses about gender, romance, and sexuality, and, increasingly, efforts to restrict sexual expression. Therefore, it is important to square popular discourse with the perspectives and thought processes that color women’s participation in romantic and sexual phenomena. This article explores how media narratives about women who pursue relationships at the intersection of intimacy, social class, and labor map onto the realities of their lived experiences. Specifically, I compare an analysis of popular press articles about sugar dating—a mutually beneficial relationship practice wherein people engage in frank negotiations of companionship, intimacy, and material benefits—with interviews with 13 women who have participated in sugar dating. I sought to understand how these women defined sugar dating, what motivated them to sugar date, and where their sugar relationships felt most rewarding or difficult. I argue that, for women, sugar dating can be a site of both labor and leisure. These interviews complicate how contemporary press coverage tends to frame sugar dating, revealing important insights about how women may conform to but also challenge popular narratives about their identities, labor, sexual desires, and agency. My findings, therefore, constitute a narrative about sugar dating that captures the nuances of women’s thinking and operating logics. This is a crucial step forward in elevating the voices of those who participate in sugar dating and other romantic and sexual practices.

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