Matching on individual and relational variables differentially predicts (satisfaction with) intimate behaviors in men and women - a daily diary study

Abstract

Intimate behaviors, including cuddling, kissing, and genital touch, are interpersonal phenomena that are dependent on characteristics of the relationship as well as partners’ responses. Yet research on this topic typically relies on individual reports and does not account for interpersonal processes. In this study, we investigated how matching between heterosexual partners on relationship satisfaction and the extent to which they had sexual thoughts during the day, rather than their individual scores, may affect each partner's (satisfaction with) intimate behaviors. Over the course of 21 days, 66 couples submitted daily reports on their (satisfaction with) intimate behaviors, and the extent to which they had sexual thoughts the previous day (every morning), and on their relationship satisfaction during the day (every evening). We estimated actor, partner, and within-couple agreement effects, as well as change, and daily variability. We examined both the magnitude and direction of matching in partner's evaluations and thoughts, while accounting for dependency within couples. Results showed that for women, matching on moderate levels of relationship satisfaction was associated with lower intimacy satisfaction than matching on extreme levels of relationship satisfaction, and matches were associated with lower intimacy satisfaction than mismatches. For both men and women, stronger matching on sexual thoughts between partners was associated with more (satisfaction with) intimate behaviors, and matching was better than mismatching. When men had more sexual thoughts during the day than their female partners this was associated with more intimate behaviors, and more intimacy satisfaction. These results provide support for a dynamical relationship between individual and relational variables associated with intimacy and intimacy satisfaction in couples. They also show the nuanced way in which relational and sexual variables influence each other on a day-to-day basis, highlighting the need to develop interpersonal models of intimacy and sex that account for the dyadic interaction between partners. Nothing to declare.