Making Love Public: The Paradoxes of Intimacy in Henry James’s The Wings of the Dove

Abstract

This article focuses on the paradoxes pertaining to romantic love in Henry James’ The Wings of the Dove. Drawing on love sociology (Luhmann, Illouz) it explores the ways in which James places the love and courtship of his protagonists Merton Densher and Kate Croy in a complex and shifting relation to the private and the public. As sociologists and cultural historians inform us, “romantic love“—a notion that links love and marriage—emerged only in the late 18th century as an ideal advocated by sentimentalism and romanticism and then gained popularity throughout the 19th century. Its emergence was concomitant with the rise of the middle class, the rise of the novel, and the growing separation of the private and the public spheres. Indeed, as Niklas Luhmann argues in his seminal study Love as Passion, the differentiation of the private or intimate sphere—a sphere defined by personal/intimate relations as opposed to impersonal ones—begins with the cultural codification of love. It was only after love and marriage became linked that marriage gained its status as a private affair and the family came to be regarded as the sphere of privacy. This already suggests a paradox built into the idea of romantic love: while love came to be understood as the most intimate relation between two people and as central for the demarcation of the private sphere, it also needed to be made public in order to remain what it was. This paradox is reflected in one of the major ironies of James’ novel: Kate’s decision neither to publicly acknowledge their relationship nor to conduct it in secret, but rather to appear publicly and act privately as if there was nothing to disavow in the first place, leads to the disintegration of their intimate bond. Suggesting that the performative effects of Kate and Merton’s public actions eventually render their intimate bond nonexistent, James exposes the paradox at the heart of romantic love.