Abstract
Psychology research on men studies, attractiveness, and partner preferences has evolved from the influence of sociobiological perspectives to the role of interactions in shaping election toward sexual–affective relationships and desire toward different kinds of masculinities. However, there is a scientific gap in how language and communicative acts among women influence the kind of partner they feel attracted to and in the reproduction of relationship double standards, like the myth of the “warrior’s rest” where female attractiveness to “bad boys” is encouraged or supported. Some women imitate “the warrior” behavior of men by choosing dominant traditional masculinities (DTM) to have “fun” with and oppressed traditional masculinities (OTM) for “rest” after the “fun” with DTM—choosing an OTM for a stable relationship, but perhaps without passion, while also feeling attraction toward DTM, a response which perpetuates the chauvinist double standard that the feminist movement has condemned when men behave in this sexist way. Through conducting a qualitative study with communicative daily life stories, this article explores, on the one hand, how language and social interaction among women can lead to the reproduction of the DTM role by women and, on the other hand, also how new alternative masculinities (NAM) offer an alternative by explicitly rejecting, through the language of desire, to be the rest for the female warrior, the second fiddle to any woman. This has the potential to become a highly attractive alternative to DTM. Findings provide new knowledge through the analysis of communicative acts and masculinities evidencing the importance of language uses in the reproduction of the double standards in gender relations and to understand how and why these practices are maintained and which kind of language uses can contribute to preventing them. Implications for research and interventions on preventive socialization of gender violence are discussed.
Highlights
The women’s movement and other progressive social movements have traditionally been committed to foster gender equality by condemning, among other issues, gender inequalities regarding sexual behavior and interpersonal relationships by advocating sexual freedom and equality
This approach allowed us to identify, on the one hand, the barriers related to language and communicative acts that can lead to the reproduction of dominant traditional masculinities (DTM) role by women and, on the other hand, the transformative elements related to the use of the language of desire by new alternative masculinities (NAM) that contributes to opposition to this sexist double standard and makes it a highly attractive alternative to DTM
The second section sheds light on the transformative use of language that goes beyond these two exclusionary elements: interactions and communicative acts which point to the existence of an alternative model to counteract this tendency, which has been defined in theory as the NAM (Flecha et al, 2013; Rodríguez-Navarro et al, 2014)
Summary
The women’s movement and other progressive social movements have traditionally been committed to foster gender equality by condemning, among other issues, gender inequalities regarding sexual behavior and interpersonal relationships by advocating sexual freedom and equality. Feminist theories (Beauvoir, 1949; Greer, 1970) have condemned the sexist myth of the warrior’s rest that positions women as passive sexual objects, subject to their partners’ dominance and dependence. This patriarchal myth relies on the double standard and classifies women into two types, those for casual sex and those for marital and family purposes. Some women imitate the warrior’s rest by reproducing these chauvinist double standards (Valls et al, 2008; Lyons et al, 2011; Gómez, 2015) This role reversal does not foster women’s sexual agency, quite the opposite.
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