Love is Not All You Need: A Revolutionary Approach to Parental Abuse

Abstract

This case story is a composite of similar family situations where the parents were at risk of harm from their teenage children and commonly the father/step-father has moved out of home leaving the mother to parent the children on her own. Several of these cases involved physical threats to the lives of the parents. These referrals occurred in a Child, Adolescent and Family Mental Health Service and a Family Therapy NGO between 1985 and 2005. This approach is offered as a complement to the widely published ‘non-violent resistance’ approach of Haim Omer and his colleagues. We hope it goes some way to address what Lavi-Lavavi et al (2013, Journal of Systemic Therapies, 32(4), 79–93). describe as ‘the mother's plight’: The plight of the mother continues to present a major challenge… We are also seeking ways to allow the mother more breathing space, help her to disengage from abrasive conflicts, acknowledge her contribution and sacrifice, and provide her with vantage points that may help her recognize and enhance small improvements. Hopefully, these measures will enable women to evolve from unacknowledged victims to pillars of the family’ (p. 92).