Love, Affection and Intimacy in Marriage of Young People in Vietnam

Abstract

ABSTRACT This article illuminates the transition to companionate marriage of young couples in respect to love, romance and intimacy, while at the same time identifying conflicts over the realisation of emotional labour in marital practices. What do young Vietnamese men and women expect regarding intimacy in their relationships? What do they do in order to realise their emotional desires, and how does this influence their spousal relationships? Based on in-depth interviews with 30 couples aged 30 and below in one urban area and one rural area in Vietnam, the article shows the differences between men and women in their desire for love and mutual disclosure, and their involvement in emotion work. There is likely a power imbalance in gender relations because women have to adjust their demands and accommodate their husbands’ lack involvement in emotion work. Women show a greater desire for love and intimacy, and engage in more emotion work, but their desires are not always satisfied in daily practice because men seem to be conservative, suppress their feelings and emotions, and hide their inner thoughts. These issues are not likely to adversely affect the young couples’ long-term marital sustainability, but they do influence their marital quality because they cause dissatisfaction and disagreements.