Living Outside Protocol: Polyamorous Orientations, Bodies, and Queer Temporalities

Charlotta Carlström,Catrine Andersson

doi:10.1007/s12119-019-09621-7

Abstract

This study investigates experiences of polyamory in a society where monogamy is the norm. Polyamory is when more than two people are involved in an intimate and/or sexual relationship. The relationships are known to those involved, and everyone has the opportunity to have multiple relationships at the same time. In-depth interviews were completed with 22 persons in Sweden who identify as polyamorous. Drawing on Ahmed’s phenomenological concepts of turning points and lines and Halberstam’s concept of queer time and temporality, the following questions are explored: What turning points can be seen in the informants’ stories? And what consequences are the informants exposed to when heteronormative expectations are not followed? In the theoretical language of Ahmed, living a life within monogamous boundaries would be considered as being “in line”. Going beyond these monogamous heteronormative lines can result in more relational choices by which one has to find out what kind of relationship works best instead of following a ready-made template. The majority of the informants feel forced to conceal their relationship constellations in several situations and contexts. Living a queer life is seen by others in society as not only incomprehensible but also immature and inexperienced. Interactions with healthcare professionals seldom offer any relief from this; instead, the informants’ stories of these encounters can be interpreted as instances of being stopped and blocked, resulting in stress and shame.

Highlights

The concept of ‘non-monogamy’ aims to reflect a diversity of alternative relationship constellations that exist beyond the heteronormative
Polyamory, which we focus on here, means that more than two people are involved in an intimate and/ or sexual relationship
We explore the lines that lead to experiences of polyamory in a society where monogamy is the norm

Summary

Introduction

The concept of ‘non-monogamy’ aims to reflect a diversity of alternative relationship constellations that exist beyond the heteronormative. Non-monogamy can be regarded as an umbrella term for polyamory, open relationships, swingers, and. Andersson relationship anarchy to mention some of the most common. Polyamory, which we focus on here, means that more than two people are involved in an intimate and/ or sexual relationship. The relationships are known to those involved, and everyone has the opportunity to have multiple relationships at the same time. Polyamory has received growing attention in recent years, and there is evidence that an increasing number of people are forming polyamorous relationships (Barker 2005; Haupert et al 2017). Increasing media attention about polyamory and psychotherapeutic ‘self-help’ style books accompany this. Non-monogamy has received increased attention within academia

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Methods

Conclusion