Living in the Moment.

Abstract

Living in the Moment Walt Zerrenner A line Mary Hirner was born July 29, 1941, in Edison, NJ, to Mary and Robert Hirner. She was their only child. After graduating from Perth Amboy High School, Aline attended Montclair College. She graduated from Montclair [End Page 118] with a Bachelor of Arts in Education. In the fall of 1963, she accepted a position as a Math teacher. We met in the summer of 1964. I was born on July 8, 1941, in New York City and the oldest of five children. After graduating from high school, I enlisted in the Marines. I was honorably discharged from the Marine Corps in July 1963 after serving four years and reaching the rank of Corporal. Taking advantage of the G.I. Bill, I enrolled in college and attended night school while I worked full time During the summer of 1964, Aline and I met on the beach in Bayhead, NJ. We hit it off, married a year later, and built a life together. We have two children and five grandchildren. I retired in 2005, and we moved to Wisconsin to be with our daughter and four of our grandchildren. The Early Progression Fast forward to our annual vacation in New York City in December 2006, when I noticed the first signs that something was wrong. This was a woman who loved New York, particularly during the holiday season. That was the Aline I knew, not the person who didn't want to do anything but sleep. We cut the trip short and returned home to Wisconsin. Our family physician listened to my recount of the trip and her behavior. He recommended an MRI and to have it interpreted by a psychiatrist. That was scheduled before we left his office. The MRI was performed and the interpretation made by a neuropsychologist. The diagnosis was Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI). Looking at the MRI, there was white matter on the brain, evidence of a mini-stroke. Thinking back before the New York trip, I had noticed some changes in Aline's forgetfulness. I had just attributed that to our aging process. In 2007, we were still members at a country club and enjoyed playing golf. One day after ladies golf, Aline arrived home 45 minutes later than expected. It was only a 10-minute drive to the country club. She had no explanation as to why it took so long, nor could she recall the route she took home. It frightened her to have that memory lapse, and at that moment, we agreed that she shouldn't drive. Her memory continued to get worse, and I noticed it was getting more difficult to leave her home alone for longer periods of time. I had to shut down my consulting business, as I could not travel and could not take her to an unfamiliar city. I had just landed a very lucrative consulting engagement with a large healthcare system and had to turn it down. The psychiatrist administered the neuropsychological tests in 2007 and then again in 2008. There was no significant decline indicated with the two tests. However, a second MRI showed the presence of more mini-strokes but none as severe as the first stroke. The diagnosis was changed to Vascular Dementia. Lifestyle Adjustments We had to make some significant lifestyle changes, including vacation plans. We had a three-week trip to Italy planned that I canceled. The big concern about traveling, especially out of the country, was what would she do if something happened to me. There were still many fun things to do. We took trips to Ski Brule and the Wisconsin Dells with the family. We were season ticket holders at the Fox Cities Performing Arts Center and Annual Partners. Aline loved to dine out, and we often did with family. Grandchildren were involved in a number of activities that we always attended. We accepted the things that we could not do any longer but enjoyed the things we still could. That is still true today. We call it "Living in the Moment." Cooking, cleaning, medication management, and driving to medical appointments became my new normal. Dementia wasn't the fairytale retirement we...