Listening to Men's Stories: Overcoming Obstacles to Intimacy from Childhood

Abstract

This article analyzes the interviews of five men who came from abusive or otherwise unhealthy families to understand how they were able to overcome obstacles from their childhood to be more intimate with their own families. The five respondents were chosen from a sample of 103 White, married men ranging in age from 40 to 50 based on their extreme high scores on the Miller Social Intimacy Scale and their extreme low scores on the Family of Origin Scale. Content analysis of interviews allowed themes to emerge that revealed how the five men were able to change their life stories. Their responses fall into three categories that are explored in this paper: (1) childhood role models and alternative caregivers, (2) childhood friends, and (3) transforming experiences in later life. Interview excerpts provide examples of each category. Narrative analysis provided a deeper understanding of the interviews by exploring how the men used language to convey meaning. Attention was paid to the words the men chose, pauses, tone and delivery of speech, and metaphors. Noticing the details of language and how people story their lives adds to knowledge about clients.