Let's Not Talk About It: Commentary on Michael Shoshani (Rosenbaum's) Dare to be Human

Abstract

As an outsider, I found myself engaged and at times mystified as I wondered about the unasked and the unspoken in Michael Shoshani (Rosenbaum's) portrayal of an analysis in his book Dare to Be Human. While conceding that every therapy and every representation of therapy must touch on some issues and omit others, and that at times intimate experience can be deadened by conversation, I was curious about the ways Shoshani (Rosenbaum) appeared at times to retreat from talking with his patient about certain areas of relatedness, particularly about varieties of possible erotic transferences. While Dr. Shoshani (Rosenbaum) makes a case for the therapeutic value of the unsaid, I wonder whether in this relationship talking about this complex area might have been a means to further joint attention and an opportunity for co-inquiry and collaboration around significant subject/object and subject/subject forms of relatedness. I ask whether talking about experience may enliven and deepen mutual experience rather than deaden it, by limning mutuality and difference, and nurturing curiosity about process and relationship.