Abstract
In this autoethnographic self-study, the author explores the emotional challenges she encountered when teaching online during the COVID-19 outbreak and their impacts on her language teacher identity. Reflecting on her journey in the 2020-2021 academic year, the author discusses her shifting emotions and teacher identity transformation under five chronological but not linear stages: Expecting the Unexpected, Sink or Swim, Am I loving it?, Something is definitely wrong with my teaching and Everybody is right, everyone is a victim. The study highlights the role of democratic institutions in empowering teachers undertaking emotional labor in an effort to enhance the quality of education. It also calls for more self-reflexive opportunities for teachers to help them better make sense of and negotiate emotional challenges and exercise agency.
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