Kindness, and: Figura Serpentinata, and: On what has become of his body

Abstract

Kindness, and: Figura Serpentinata, and: On what has become of his body Blas Falconer (bio) Kindness He's kind because he wants people tolike him, Mary's mother said. The firstwoman in Italy to earn a PhDin chemistry, and whose family survivedthe war by hiding hens on the patioof their apartment, she knew I'd justcome out of the closet at 24,and loathing myself, saw any kindnessan act of great charity for which Ishould be eternally grateful, so maybe shewas right, but her insight becameanother reason to hate myself.Mary and I taught in Tatabanya,Hungary, that year, where we earned200 dollars a month, but she'd losther job and come to live with me in a smallstudio on the edge of town. That year,I met Mike and traveled as far as Miskolc,the other end of the country, to lethim touch me, which was the first time I'd beentouched by a man without feeling fear. That year,Mary lost so much weight that her thick hairstarted falling out. She'd run her fingersacross her scalp, and let the clumps fallto the floor. See? When we left, her hairgrew back. She went to law school but said thatshe wanted to get married, have a family morethan anything else. In our mid 30s, I went [End Page 97] to her house where she lived with her husband,a military pilot, and two kids.She was a judge, and our friend Ivy, whowe'd known as long as we'd knowneach other, had come, too. I believe that,constitutionally, you have the rightto marry a man, Mary told me, butI vote for whomever lets me keepas much of my money as possible.She went on to say, slicing a piece of cheesefor her cracker, how difficult it'd beto get along without her au pair, whosetwo-year visa was ending, and soon would haveto go back to France if she didn't findan American husband—and would Iconsider it? Ivy looked embarrassedas I stumbled in confusion and whatI'd later recognize as anger toremind Mary that I was living withJoseph, a man I loved. We didn't talkagain, Mary and I, until 2011,when she told me that Ivy had died,and was surprised to hear that I suspected itwas why she was calling after so much time.I explained how, a few months before,Ivy left a message to congratulate usabout the adoption—I'm so happy, soso happy for you both—and that she hadcancer and hoped to beat it, but whenshe didn't answer my calls, I fearedthe worst. As far as Mary knew, Ivy hadn't toldanyone else. She must have really liked you,Mary said to herself it seemed, as muchas to me, and I felt like I should saysomething kind in return, and took a deepbreath, considering how to begin. [End Page 98] Figura Serpentinata She began screaming atthe man standing behind us in line. The cashier lookedout from behind a glass partition. The man steppedback laughing, shaking his head. Stop, I saidto my mother. Please. I was still a child. She was stillscreaming, He can't touch me like that. The men lookedto each other and looked away. Then she stopped,electrified with rage, took my hand, and we stoodin silence, waiting to pay. * My father and I satat the kitchen table when we heard, faintly, someonescreaming. Your sister, he said [End Page 99] alarmed, already leaping upthe stairs, and for a moment, I too imagined someonestanding over her in the dark. Dad, I called, and he stoppedon the landing outside her door. It's just a songon the radio—so low that we couldn't discern the words.A song, I repeated. That's all. We walked back down the stepsbreathless, shaking our heads. * In Giambologna's Abduction,the figures...