Keeping Lily Safe: An Autoethnographic Exploration of Human–Animal Attachment during Adversity

Lee Lee

doi:10.3390/socsci8070217

Abstract

This article is an autoethnographic examination of my experiences as a pet owner during a particularly challenging time in my life. Beginning with a summary of a critical incident, it shows the way in which fears for the safety of my pet cat, Lily, and my relationship with her impacted my health, wellbeing and identity. Depicting self-knowledge as partial, local and culturally located, I deconstruct the relationship I had with Lily in relation to the particular set of circumstances in which it was situated. I was seen by my doctor and prescribed a course of cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) during this period, and so, my account draws on my medical records, CBT notes and my CBT thought diary in an attempt to understand how and why my anxiety was manifested in my concern for Lily. The article calls for cognitive behaviour therapists to carefully evaluate external stressors before fears are dismissed irrational and reformulated as alternative thoughts. This article also demonstrates that familiesare diverse, and there are many ways of ‘doing family’. For many heterosexual and same-sex couples, pets give stability to a partnership and elevate it to family status, if only within the privacy of the home. Human–animal attachments can be comparable to human–human attachments, and where attachments to pets are as strong as those toward humans, fear of harm can be devastating.

Highlights

This article is an autoethnographic examination of my experiences during a challenging time in my life
Of primary importance during this period was the imposition of medical definitions of the situation, as I was seen by my doctor and prescribed a course of cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT)
By utilizing third-party data, I was able to see myself as the general practitioner (GP) and the CBT therapist saw me at the time, but I was able to provide a commentary to that evidence, providing footnotes of sorts to the data sources

Summary

Introduction

This article is an autoethnographic examination of my experiences during a challenging time in my life. Drawing on pertinent literature, I analyse how my relationship with, and fears for, Lily manifested themselves during this challenging period It is beyond the scope of this paper to share the entire critical incident upon which this article is based. In June 2009, the neighbouring farmhouse—the only other property for half a mile—was sold to the Freemans (a pseudonym), a family of seven They moved in and enrolled three of their children at the school at which I was assistant headteacher. Mr Freeman was pacing on and off the doorstep shouting that he would not be told what to do by a pair of lesbians and that he was going to make our lives a ‘living misery’ He added that he owned a public relationscompany and would expose us online, though for what he did not say. My headteacher stressed that he was not concerned by Mr Freeman’s complaint, he made it clear that it was a personal matter and asked that I keep him out of it, as getting along with parents was key to his role at a middle-class school such as ours

Autoethnography

E: Adjustment Reaction

Conclusions