It’s OK not to be OK: Shared reflections from two PhD parents in a time of pandemic

Amal Abdellatif,Mark Gatto

doi:10.1111/gwao.12465

Abstract

Adopting an intersectional feminist lens, we explore our identities as single and co‐parents thrust into the new reality of the UK COVID‐19 lockdown. As two PhD students, we present shared reflections on our intersectional and divergent experiences of parenting and our attempts to protect our work and families during a pandemic. We reflect on the social constructions of ‘masculinities’ and ‘emphasized femininities’ as complicated influence on our roles as parents. Finally, we highlight the importance of time and self‐care as ways of managing our shared realities during this uncertain period. Through sharing reflections, we became closer friends in mutual appreciation and solidarity as we learned about each other’s struggles and vulnerabilities.

Highlights

Protecting your family is one of the most important roles you can play as a parent, but what happens when you cannot shield yourself or your loved ones from the threat of trauma (Cobham & Newnham, 2018)? These reflections provide a glimpse into the lives of two PhD parents
Mark is a third-year PhD student, a research assistant, a co-parent with a 14-month-old baby (13 months old during reflections), and his wife works in the NHS
Our shared stories of the UK COVID-19 lockdown acted as both individual catharsis and collective empowerment

Summary

Introduction

Protecting your family is one of the most important roles you can play as a parent, but what happens when you cannot shield yourself or your loved ones from the threat of trauma (Cobham & Newnham, 2018)? These reflections provide a glimpse into the lives of two PhD parents. Mark is a third-year PhD student (home), a research assistant, a co-parent with a 14-month-old baby (13 months old during reflections), and his wife works in the NHS. We are both exploring gender in the workplace for our PhDs. Our shared stories of the UK COVID-19 lockdown acted as both individual catharsis and collective empowerment. Our shared stories of the UK COVID-19 lockdown acted as both individual catharsis and collective empowerment Through sharing, we both learned more about our intersectional identities and our efforts to act as protective shields for our families during this traumatic time. We chose to write together to expose and resist patriarchal models of gender through our divergent parental roles and converging feminist principles towards gender equity

Equal 1st Authors

Conclusion