“Isn’t he wonderful?” Exploring the contribution and conceptualization of older husbands as carers

Abstract

This paper explores the relationship between the dimensions of a debate cited at the intersection of ageing, gender, and family care. It draws together evidence from the General Household Survey for Britain 2000 and social research to explore the contribution and conceptualization of caring by older husbands. UK research on caring reveals that among older spouses, equal numbers of husbands and wives provide intensive care. It has been argued that within late-life marriage an over-riding desire to retain independence erodes gender-determined task allocation, suggesting not only similarity but equality between wives and husbands as carers. More recent qualitative research challenges this assumption and suggests two key findings: that older husbands are motivated to care by a combination of marital duty and reciprocal love, and that they manage the tasks of caring within an instrumental framework. Further, it is clear that pre-existing gender relations continue to be powerful determinants of the experience of caring, and that marital power is retained by men in late-life marriage. Overall, the caring contribution of older husbands is imbued with positive meaning, is highly valued, and offers a distinctive role and identity; this contrasts sharply with the caring experiences of older wives.