Is my attachment style showing? Perceptions of a date’s attachment anxiety and avoidance and dating interest during a speed-dating event

Abstract

Choosing who to pursue as a romantic partner can have wide-reaching consequences. Attachment anxiety (i.e., need for reassurance) and avoidance (i.e., comfort with closeness) are associated with relationship quality and maintenance, but do people accurately perceive a date’s attachment style and are these perceptions associated with dating interest? In a sample of 164 speed-daters (n = 1,869 dates), we found that people accurately perceived dates’ attachment anxiety, but not their attachment avoidance. Perceiving a date as more anxiously or avoidantly attached was associated with less dating interest, and when dates were higher on attachment anxiety, accurate perceptions of anxious attachment were associated with less dating interest. Implications for partner selection and for understanding perceptions in dating relationships are discussed.