Abstract
Shame is a painful, universal emotional response to a failure, shortcoming, or other wrongdoing of what society demands or what a person demands of him or herself. Scientists have learned that very young infants experience shame (as a personal feeling of unworthiness and shame), when they experience rejection-even if it is unintentional. Children, who are admonished for doing something over which they have limited or no control, are also capable of feeling shame. On a more serious, long-lasting scale, physical and sexual abuse and other traumatic experiences, particularly those that happen directly to the child, without adequate intervention, may lead to the development of shame as well. Considering the origin of the shame-wound is critical as well. If one is the child of abusive and/or addicted parents, their shame could have been an emotional and psychological transplant. Assessing if the shame is a consequence of actions, inactions, or someone elses conflicts, can allow for internal conflict resolution.
Highlights
The Role of Cognition in ShameBased on the extensive research and data available, psychologists consider that shame cultivates from the need for approval from others
Assessing if the shame is a consequence of actions, inactions, or someone else‟s conflicts, can allow for internal conflict resolution
It is important to distinguish between shame and guilt, two emotions that are not the same, they can be experienced at the same time, from the same cause
Summary
Based on the extensive research and data available, psychologists consider that shame cultivates from the need for approval from others. Shame can result when a person senses, or experiences, that someone disapproves of them or something about them. The thinking that supports socially acceptable behaviors, like dressing appropriately, keeping one‟s work area neat and clean, and not littering, are examples of positive cognition utilized to avoid shame. The unhealthy side of shame is if the thinking that results from other‟s disapproval, becomes a crushing and sweeping feeling of a lack of self-worth. This toxic shame may have its roots in chronic exposure to conditions that cause shame. The way that shame feels depends on the person experiencing it, and on the cognition that is involved. In a less serious case, such as making a mistake, forgetting someone‟s name, or dropping the ball on a project unintentionally, shame may be experienced as a warm sensation, blushing, or a need to divert one's gaze [1]
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