Intimacy, Autonomy, and Relationship Satisfaction in Dutch Lesbian Couples and Heterosexual Couples

Abstract

Therapists generally rely on object relation theories when explaining processes in lesbian relationships. On the basis of these theories, it is assumed that women are more oriented towards intimacy than men, and that men are better at maintaining their autonomy in relationships. In this study, samples of 50 lesbian and 50 heterosexual couples were compared on self-reported intimacy and autonomy, attitudes toward intimacy and autonomy, and relationship satisfaction. Lesbian couples reported a higher degree of emotional and recreational intimacy and had a more positive attitude toward emotional intimacy than heterosexual couples. On an individual level. women in lesbian relationshius re~orted more emotional intimacy &an men and women in heteioseAal relationships, and they experienced a higher degree of recreational intimacy than heterosexual men. Women in lesbian relationships and women in heterosexual relationships placed higher value on emotional intimacy than men. Recreational, sexual, and social intimacy were valued at the same degree by women in lesbian and women and men in heterosexual relationships. Women and men in heterosexual relationships did not differ in self-reported emotional, recreational, sexual or social intimacy, or in autonomy, attitudes toward autonomy or relationship satisfaction. Relationship satisfaction was predicted by emotional intimacy among women in lesbian relationships, emotional and sexual intimacy among women in heterosexual relationships, and emotional intimacy and attitudes toward recreational intimacy among men in heterosexual relationships.