Intimacy and Loneliness

Abstract

The article contends that the fear of loneliness is the basic and universal motivational drive influencing human relationships. For each and every individual, the ultimate goal of overcoming isolation is a sense of belonging or intimacy with another self-conscious being. The paper then focuses on the psychological conditions which make intimacy possible and, indeed, necessary when the conditions actually exist. These conditions include and are completely restricted to the following four presuppositions: (a) shared physical and temporal "closeness" between selves; (b) mutual trust in the Eriksonian sense; (c) mutual affection; and (d) mutual respect in the Kantian sense. When, and if, these four conditions are met, then the sense of loneliness will be replaced by and transformed into a feeling of intimacy.