Abstract
This is a personal account of incest between the author and her grand-father. The events described occurred decades ago. The effect is long-lasting and is manifested by foggy thinking and physical sensations. The issues of knowing something and not knowing erupt now and again, even in the present. This is 2019, a time of social change. The #MeToo movement has reached a broad audience. It follows the acknowledgment of sexual abuse rampant within the Catholic Church. Coaches of sports acknowledge their sexual abuse of their trainees. Filmmakers and photographers, judges and teachers have been brought down by being exposed as sexual predators. Powerful men can have a misperception of being beyond social norms. Knowing that others have experienced sexual abuse can invite one to remember one's own experiences. In this piece, psychotherapy is a context for putting memories and sensations together to enable a feeling of freedom-to feel alive in the present.
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