“I too call myself I”: Madhavikutty-Kamala Das and the Intransitive Autobiography

Abstract

This paper scrutinizes some of our most enduring assumptions about the genre of autobiography. More particularly, it examines the predicative links, the transitivities, which bind notions of self-life-and-writing. It comes to this exercise through a reading of Madhavikutty-Kamala Das’ Balyakala Smaranakal (Memories of a Childhood) (1987). This autobiography promises to trace the self from its incipience—only to side-step the self’s emergence and to hide this deferral in plain sight. The paper argues that Balyakala Smaranakal (BS) uses our expectations of the genre and our presumptions about the writer—particularly her abiding preoccupation with self-production—as accomplices. It invites us to witness the textual densities which the child-protagonist gathers and then deploys these strategies to un-do the self’s emergence. By deferring the production of the self BS stages the autobiography as “intransitive”. This paper goes some way in examining the reasons why it becomes impossible for BS to produce a legible self; for the child-protagonist to step into the social category that it summons forth. It examines the formal as well as socio-historical conditions within which this autobiography becomes the place of self-postponement—rather than of self-presentation and self-actualization.