“I'm Not Good Enough for Anyone”: Legal Status and the Dating Lives of Undocumented Young Adults

Abstract

The impact of legal status on romantic relationships has not been adequately explored in the literature. Based on video and phone interviews with 25 undocumented activists from the ages of 18 to 28 years old, this research examines how legal status affects the romantic relationships of undocumented women and men. The hegemony of traditional dating scripts made it difficult for those without legal status to participate. Gender roles were consistent with stereotypical male and female roles in dating, which often attribute more power and responsibility to men. As such, women experienced a slight advantage because traditional notions of courtship did not require them to provide the resources required for dating, such as money or transportation, which in contrast were commonly expected of the men. In contrast, women noted the difficulties of disclosing their legal status and depending on their partners for everyday activities. Additionally, both men and women faced exclusion that inhibited their dating lives, as a direct result of their legal status. This suggests that the impact of legal status may be salient at all stages of family formation and that undocumented young adults are experiencing a distinct phenomenon compared to their documented and native‐born peers.