“I’m meant to be his comfort blanket, not a punching bag” – Ethnomimesis as an exploration of maternal child to parent violence in pre-adolescents

Nikki Rutter

doi:10.1177/1473325020940774

Abstract

This is the first study to use ethno-mimesis to explore the lived experiences of mothers navigating child-to-parent violence initiated by pre-adolescent children. The current child-to-parent violence research landscape is predominantly focused upon the experiences of parents of adolescent children, identifying that violent behaviours can be used as a life-long strategy. This research uses innovative methods to explore the lived experiences of mothers, and how they understand and navigate the violence of their pre-adolescent child. Using ethno-mimesis to allow for the intersection of socio-cultural theory (social roles and expectations); experience (reflection on motherhood); and practice (creating visual representations), five mother experiencing child-to-parent violence were identified and recruited from three parent support groups in the North of England. These mothers individually reflected on their experiences of violence, as mothers with young children, with responses thematically analyzed underpinned by phenomenological inquiry. Mothers in this research identified the violence as a symptom of wider structural, neurological, or mental health difficulties their child was experiencing rather than the problem itself. Participants did not believe the violence was intentional but was due to uncontrollable and overwhelming emotions. Nevertheless, there was considerable overlap between the experiences of these mothers and previous research into maternal experiences of adolescent violence; maternal experiences of adult child-to-parent violence, and intimate partner violence. By understanding the behaviours of younger children, there is opportunity to provide whole-family interventions which will prevent lifecourse trajectories, and focus upon the challenges and support needs of mothers living with this form of violence and abuse.

Highlights

Child to parent violence (CPV) is defined by Cottrell and Finlayson (2001: 16) as ‘any act of a child that is intended to cause physical, psychological or financial damage in order to gain control of a parent’
Using an ethnomimetic approach to elicit in-depth phenomenological narratives, the findings show that there are parallels between experiencing pre-adolescent CPV, adolescent CPV, and intimate partner violence
This study found that mothers living with pre-adolescent CPV were frequently feeling as though they were ‘walking on eggshells.’

Summary

Introduction

Child to parent violence (CPV) is defined by Cottrell and Finlayson (2001: 16) as ‘any act of a child that is intended to cause physical, psychological or financial damage in order to gain control of a parent’. When CPV is defined as intentional, many families disengage from the CPV discourse As this definition contradicts how they understand their lived experiences of CPV, and the reasons for it (Coogan, 2011). The UK Home Office defines CPV in the adolescent-to-parent violence (APV) guidance as: an act of domestic abuse initiated by anyone between the ages of 13–16 towards a caregiver. Their definition of domestic abuse is: Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. Their definition of domestic abuse is: Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. (Home Office, 2015: 3)

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