I like that you feel my pain, but I love that you feel my joy: Empathy for a partner’s negative versus positive emotions independently affect relationship quality

Abstract

Given the myriad ways in which close relationships impact human well-being, it is important to understand the factors that contribute to healthy relationship functioning. One such factor is the extent to which partners empathize with each other’s emotional experiences. To date however, research examining empathy’s relevance for social relationships has focused overwhelmingly on empathy for others’ specifically negative emotions. Building on recent scholarship demonstrating the separability of empathy for others’ negative versus positive emotions, the present work argues that both of these empathic capacities contribute to relationship quality and that they do so via different pathways. A first study showed that whereas perceptions of a partner’s negative empathy and positive empathy were each independently associated with relationship quality, this association was substantially stronger for positive empathy. A second, experimental study demonstrated independent causal effects of negative empathy and positive empathy and showed that these effects were mediated by different mechanisms. These results suggest that although having a partner who empathizes with one’s negative emotions is good for relationships, having a partner who (also) empathizes with one’s positive emotions may carry even greater benefits.