I do…do you? Dependence and biological sex moderate daters' cortisol responses when accommodating a partner's thoughts about marriage

Abstract

We examined how daters' levels of relationship dependence interact with men's and women's degree of accommodation during a likelihood of marriage discussion to predict cortisol levels at the conclusion of the discussion. Upon arriving at the laboratory, couple members were separated and asked to graph their perceived likelihood of one day marrying each other. Couples were reunited and instructed to create a joint graph depicting their agreed-upon chance of marriage. For the majority of couples, negotiating their likelihood of marriage required one or both partners to accommodate each other's presumed likelihood of marriage. Multilevel analyses revealed a significant Dependence×Accommodation×Sex interaction. For women who increased their likelihood of marriage, feelings of dependence predicted heightened levels of cortisol relative to baseline; we suggest such a response is indicative of eustress. Among men, those who accommodated by decreasing their likelihood of marriage experienced significantly lower levels of cortisol to the extent that they were less dependent on their partners. Discussion focuses on why men and women show different physiological reactions in response to seemingly favorable outcomes from a relationship discussion.