Abstract
This pamphlet is designed to help you and your family plan for and survive a major earthquake movie. Nothing is guaranteed in this life, but by taking certain preparedness measures the impact of an earthquake movie can be lessened. Remember to spend some time teaching your family what to do in the event of such a movie. You could be without help for as long as four hours, especially if the batteries in your remote die and your junk drawers contain only the “little ones”, not the “real little ones” that power most television control devices. Suspense and fright are rarely the actual cause of injury during earthquake movies. Casualties tend to result from collateral damage, such as nausea induced by relentlessly shaking cameras, derisive laughter that escalates into involuntary wind-passage blockage, and, in three documented cases during the 1980's, a severe allergic reaction to purple dialogue. With proper precautions, such injuries can be avoided. Should you sense an earthquake movie starting:
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