How Do Memories of Having Been Parented Relate to the Parenting-Experience of Fathers in Treatment for Intimate Partner Violence? A Phenomenological Analysis

Henning Mohaupt,Ingunn Rangul Askeland,Fanny Duckert

doi:10.1007/s10896-020-00210-z

Abstract

Few studies have examined how men who use intimate partner violence (IPV) experience being a parent. This study describes how Norwegian men in treatment for IPV reflect upon the impact of their childhood experiences on their fathering. We interviewed 11 men in treatment for IPV regarding their fathering experience, and their memories of having been parented. We performed a descriptive phenomenological analysis of the data. We identified two superordinate themes that described the participants’ fathering experience: being a benign versus being a detrimental force in the child’s life and having the intention of not repeating and the actual repetition of harmful parenting. The participants described being conflicted regarding being potentially damaging for their child’s development. They generally described a lack of stable positive relationships, both early in life and in the present. Partner-violent men’s meaning making of their fathering seems to be influenced by their early-life experiences with their parents in several problematic ways. Fathers who use IPV may both accept and reject that they have been harmed by the parenting they received as children. Similarly, they may both acknowledge and discard that their use of violence harms their children. We suggest that therapy should explore these themes and their consequences for the father - child relationship.

Highlights

Few studies have examined how men who use intimate partner violence (IPV) experience being a parent
We have previously reported that men in treatment for IPV scored low on a measure of parental reflective functioning (RF), evaluated themselves as average or better than average parents, reported elevated but subclinical scores on alcohol and substance use, and reported high levels of single and relational trauma in a lifetime-perspective
In a previous qualitative analysis we described how men in treatment for IPV experienced problems understanding their own and their children’s emotions, that they believed they must hide their insecurities as parents and presented themselves as strict and dominant, and that they often experienced others’ perspectives on their fathering as undermining their relationship to the child

Summary

Introduction

Few studies have examined how men who use intimate partner violence (IPV) experience being a parent. Many men in treatment for intimate partner violence (IPV) are fathers and have contact with their children (Askeland and Heir 2014). Fathers who use violence against their female partner often show little empathy toward their children (Fox and Benson 2004; Francis and Wolfe 2008) and are poor models of affect-regulation for them (Maliken and Katz 2013) They tend to be more accepting of harsh parenting practices than non-violent fathers (Fox and Benson 2004). Adherence to hegemonic ideals of masculinity has been associated with more severe male-to-female IPV and harsher fathering practices in a clinical sample (Heward-Belle 2016)

Methods

Results

Discussion

Conclusion