House hunting as horror story, and: debt as house, and: what i inherit from da hood™ aka a partial investigation of hood aesthetics aka across a dark suffering, and: house hunting as gated community

Abstract

house hunting as horror story, and: debt as house, and: what i inherit from da hood™ aka a partial investigation of hood aesthetics aka across a dark suffering, and: house hunting as gated community t’ai freedom ford (bio) house hunting as horror story the couple, curious & pale as an albino cat, heard a sound what soundedlike Black folks:a. all of the below b. breathin c. chillin d. dancin e. existin & went wandering thru da hood™ in search of the source of course curiosity killed the cat but they figured, as the previous simile suggested, that their particular curiosity, white & fluffy & pink-eyed, might be overlooked or pardoned or outright forgiven given the fact that they genuinely meant no harm & had heard, innocently enough, that (insert hood here) was bound to be the next (insert whitewashed hipster nabe here) in a few years which was so short in the grand scheme of things & certainly would yield a heckuva lot more than that mutual fund dad suggested & yes, Black people were scary but not as scary as zombies or flesh eating aliens or devil spawns but, to be fair (for fairness was, afterall, what they strove) hadn’t they, in their search, come across way scarier like that old colonial with wall-to-wall carpet in that rundown part of town (not even a decent coffee shop for blocks & blocks) or that condo directly across from the projects (but at least it had a doorman) still they weren’t ready for that level of (air quotes) ghetto realness, lol or this townhouse right here (clearly a gut job down to the studs) totally looks haunted (maybe literal skeletons in the closet, lol) but such good bones. . . . [End Page 75] debt as house what we owe a floor scuffed buffed dingy as a coffeed tooth a memory scraped from the side of a stove a budget gone to sludge oh the fried chicken we ate as we sat sedated satiated salt pepper paprika what can we offer in lieu of money besides memory what can we pay besides our names etched in every threshold all the grout lines holding flesh all the grannies holding fresh flowers we named after: Jonquil Rose Daisy Violeta Amaryllis Lily was my grandmother’s name i inherited her debt which is to say i’ve nothing to pay except breath trapped in the walls of a home i do not own my mother never owned anything either except me, perhaps, & then i went & named myself freedom perhaps ashamed of my paltry inheritance bad eyesight & a way of seeing things the curdle before the milk the worm before the silk a virgo symptom & side effect what have we here? what have i besides a mirror broken & the better parts of me already repossessed [End Page 76] what i inherit from da hood™ aka a partial investigation of hood aesthetics aka across a dark suffering a grill of green glass glittering jagged cross my mouth a hospitality rooted so south that every sidewalk becomes barbecue grill chained to the stop sign beers chillin in one of them $5 styrofoam coolers you use until it disintegrates & still the stubborn molecules of it remain synthetic snow raining the air white the aesthetics of impermanent permanence everythang is what it is until it ain’t car tires cut & painted white become planters in our grandmama’s gardens & errybody granny had a garden if you had a piece of dirt somewhere side yo house elsewise a tomato plant vining its way round ya rusted fire escape every window warped from the watering & just as lush the aesthetics of greens: collards mustards turnips snake plants alla that glass aching to be grass a check-cashing drawer full of cash a sock drawer stash of dank a bank between the stank of your pissy mattresses the drama of 17 actresses auditioning for the same damn role & the lady sings in the key of fist in the key of brick in the key of rooted blues: indigo cobalt azure sky periwinkle baby cornflower church-wall bruise— noise was the first betrothal how we come to be hitched then a betrayal how i come to...