High‐conflict divorced couples: combining systemic and psychodynamic perspectives

Abstract

This article describes typologies of couples in high‐conflict divorces and explores their dynamics through the prism of family systems and British object relations theories. The article argues that couples embroiled in high‐conflict divorce often have primitive object relations. They tend to use splitting and projection processes and find it difficult to tolerate ambivalence or disagreement. Fear of the ex‐spouse's retaliation is often accompanied by fear of their own destructiveness and by a wish to make reparation. However, it seems that reparation attempts in primitive object relations rarely achieve reconciliation. A case study demonstrates the complicated dynamics of these couples. Clinical recommendations are made.