Abstract
Individuals with salient work and family identities embody a chosen identity which combines work and family, yet they are surrounded by others who embody much different, improbable selves that focus more exclusively on either work or family. Employing a grounded theory approach, we interviewed 65 working professionals and develop a model of how social reminders of improbable selves influence individuals’ self-concepts and how individuals manage their chosen work-family selves in their social environments. We find that individuals are haunted by improbable work-family selves, which in turn make disappointing, judged, and solitary feared selves salient. To escape feared selves, individuals employ others in the service of celebrating, liberating, or validating their chosen work-family selves and distancing from improbable selves. Our findings extend the identity literature by introducing the concept of identity haunting, a companion construct to identity threat that highlights the importance of managing improbable selves in maintaining the chosen work-family self, and exploring the social tactics individuals use to manage haunting identities.
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