Abstract
Much of child care in volves quick reactions based on one's “automatic pilot” derived from how we were parented. This paper is about two seemingly universal “automatic pilot” systems—the “hard hats” and the “soft hearts.” “Hard hats” are behavior management and modification oriented, while “soft hearts” are psychodynamically and counselling oriented. Typically, the “hard hats” tend to have the upper hand due to the nature of our culture, and they therefore have the effect of preventing the contributions of the “soft hearts” from being realized. That all too frequently sets up a dominant culture and a resentful minority situation. To correct this imbalance, a value orientation “from the top” which emphasizes mutual respect and utilization is suggested.
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