Abstract
Abstract I would have enjoyed playing the piano if I could have done it with even a reasonable amount of skill and accuracy. If I could have played with the facility of any of my advanced pupils … I would have loved to play the Schumann Concerto, the G major Beethoven Concerto, the two Chopin Concertos, the Beethoven ‘Emperor’ Concerto [and] two of the Rachmaninoff Concertos … In my early years as a grown-up pianist I used to get worn out during my public appearances and feared I could not keep going to the end. Especially when playing concertos with orchestra I felt feeble and inadequate … I feel disgraced by my feebleness as a pianist (my poor fingerwork, my unreliable memory) and as a conductor (by that feeling of helplessness when I stand before a choir or orchestra).
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