Abstract
This paper is a personal reflection on the persistence of self-destructive thoughts and ideations in individuals with a history of self-destructiveness. Personal narratives are essential for understanding mental health and illness, particularly for those with a history of self-destructive behaviour. I, a researcher with lived experience of mental illness and self-destructiveness, highlight the importance of presenting them in their raw and unmediated form. This paper is a first-person narrative where I use my own personal experiences to illustrate and analyse the persistence of self-destructive thoughts.
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