Abstract
Can philosophical inquiry give us meaning in life? In this philosophical short story, the narrator holds a season ticket for the local professional soccer team, which isn't very good. He sits next to Angus, an elderly man who takes care of his wife with dementia and gets a little bit of free time for himself. After the local team scores, the narrator feels something he's never felt before: the futility of the whole experience. Angus diagnoses this as an existential crisis that might be resolved with words, specifically the words of philosophers. Thus, during each game of the season, Angus teaches the narrator about a different philosophical theory. However, one day Angus doesn't show up to the match. The narrator goes to Angus's house and finds out that, according to his wife's wishes, Angus killed her and then killed himself. The narrator then spreads Angus's ashes across the soccer pitch.
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