Girls or Boys? Relationship of Child Gender to Marital Instability

Abstract

Recent research has found that the gender of children in the family influences the stability of their parents' marriage. Analyzing data from divorced couples, Morgan, Lye, and Condran (1988) reported that couples with only daughters run a greater risk of marital dissolution than couples with only sons. Morgan and his colleagues (1988) suggested that fathers are perceived as having a more important role to play in socializing sons than in socializing daughters. This argument is consistent with research findings that fathers are indeed more involved with children when there are sons in the family (Harris & Morgan, 1991; Marsiglio, 1991). When fathers participate more in family activities, mothers perceive less disadvantage in their marital relationship and are more satisfied (Blair & Johnson, 1992) and, hence, marriages are more stable (Heaton & Albrecht, 1991). Researchers also have found that marriages are less likely to be stable and satisfying when partners hold more nontraditional attitudes regarding marriage, family, and gender relations (Heaton & Albrecht, 1991; Lye & Biblarz, 1993). Although there has not been any systematic research in this area, one study has found that women with only daughters show greater support for equitable gender roles than those having only sons (Warner, 1991). If having only daughters also increases the likelihood of holding nontraditional family values, then this type of family composition would increase marital instability. Evidence about the effects of child gender on marital dissolution has come from couples who have experienced divorce, but no studies to date have attempted to isolate its influence before divorce occurs. Our study focuses on the predivorce process and evaluates the effects of child gender on maternal perceptions of the likelihood that the marriage will end in divorce. We have limited our investigation to mothers because the factors that lead partners to think about divorce vary by gender (Blair, 1993; Guttentag & Secord, 1983; White, 1991), indicating that separate conceptual models for men and women should be developed. PERCEPTIONS OF MARITAL INSTABILITY From a social exchange perspective, marital quality evolves from the partners' evaluations of the costs and benefits of the relationship. When outcomes consistently fall below expectations, spouses become dissatisfied (Sabatelli, 1988). While marriages of low quality are not necessarily unstable (Booth, Johnson, & Edwards, 1983; Heaton & Albrecht, 1991), recent research has shown a strong relationship between measures of marital quality, satisfaction, and the propensity to divorce (Blair, 1993). We argue that when a wife perceives disadvantage in her marital relationship, the greater her dissatisfaction will be, and the more likely she is to foresee an eventual separation. Equity theory suggests that persons who participate in inequitable relationships are likely to feel dissatisfied with the relationship (Walster, Walster, & Bertheid, 1978). When comparing a situation of personal disadvantage to one of equity, individuals find the former to be less satisfying and are more likely to consider ending the relationship (Blair, 1993). But what of a relationship in which a partner is advantaged and experiences a situation of being overbenefited? Research shows that while individuals are less satisfied with relationships, and marriages are more likely to be distressed when there is inequity in either direction, the tolerance for inequity is greater when the power is on the side of the perceiver (Michaels, Edwards, & Acock, 1984; Peterson, 1990). For women with children, feeling disadvantaged in marriage may result from having to do a disproportionate amount of domestic work and child care, or from unmet expectations when fathers spend little time with children. Wives are more satisfied and perceive a greater degree of fairness when husbands share household chores, particularly those that are traditionally considered women's work (Benin & Agostinelli, 1988; Blair & Johnson, 1992; Keith & Schafer, 1987). …