Getting Out: Life Stories of Women Who Left Abusive Men

Abstract

Introduction: Thinking Through the Heart Part I. The Privileged Are Not Exempt... Women from every social class are battered even those from moneyed, educated, and politically powerful families. 1. Jan: This descendant of pre-Depression Michigan farm real estate money with a doctorate herself, escaped an abusive marriage to a man ambitious beyond his intellect. 2. Netiva: This Israeli-born woman married a Jewish-American tourist and relocated to live with him in the United States. Her friendship network was critical to her escape from abuse. Part II... Nor Are Children Battering knows no age boundaries girls can fall prey to it. 3. Kimberly: This woman entered her first abusive relationship at age twelve and her abusive marriage during her senior year of high school. Her story links obesity to abuse. 4. Jessica: This is the story of a high school homecoming queen who was battered most of her high school career by the school star athlete. Part III. A Two-Timing Batterer Men batter the women in their lives differently. This section highlights that reality with the case of a man who concurrently battered his wife and his extramarital lover. 5. Rebecca: This Plains Indian woman was battered by her Euroamerican husband. With the divorce she lost custody of her children. 6. Emily: This story captures the essence of the Southern Belle mentality where gendered relationships are concerned. This woman endured premarital marital, and extramarital abuse. Part IV. Family and Friends to the Rescue Battered women can be liberated by family and friends who support and do not blame them. 7. Lee: The wisdom and patience of this woman's parents freed her from her abusive outlaw militia husband. 8. Annette: This young Hispanic woman escaped her abuser with the help of her foster family. Part V. Faces of Shelter Life Women's shelters are structured and work in different ways to assist escape. 9. Sharon: This is the story of a woman who decidedly broke the traditional edict of silence that shackles abused Black women. Her shelter experience is typical. 10. Gretchen: An underground shelter system protects this lesbian woman and her four children who remain on the run from state to state from their abuser. Part VI. When the System Works Sociopolitical structures other than shelters informal as well as formal, can help battered women leave. 11. Raquelle: This is the tale of a Mormon woman abused by a professional athlete. The case and its jury trial drew national media attention. Colorado's mandatory reporting and arrest laws helped liberate her from abuse. 12. Lucretia: This woman's life demonstrates the intersection of class race, homosexuality, and abuse. A shelter, in conjunction with food stamps, welfare, and transitional housing programs, allower her and her children to escape. 13. Colette: This woman's story includes devastating loss: a mother's suicide and a young daughter's death by accident. Her tiny community mobilized an informal network of donated services to help her leave her abuser. Part VII. Legacies of Loss and Death These are stories of women who escaped battering but at significant personal expense or with great loss. 14. Blanca: This Puerto Rican-American woman relinquished custody of her child in order to escape her Vietnam veteran husband. 15. Judy: As a final gesture of control the husband of this preacher's kid hanged himself where she was certain to discover his remains. 16. Freda: This is the story of a homeless African-American mother of five who contracted HIV from her abuser. Afterword: A Message for Battered Women