Gendered Embodiment of the Ethnographer during Fieldwork in a Conflict Region of India

Abstract

ABSTRACT Militarization and various forms of state repression are continuous factors shaping daily life and practices in Manipur. Within this context my paper grapples with the impossibility of preparing for ethnographic fieldwork in a conflict region. What does it mean to work as a lone woman researcher and to negotiate various subjectivities like gender, class, and caste during fieldwork in a conflict region? I unpack the experience of preparing for ‘fieldwork’ and what it entails by focusing on the gendered experience of power differentials and negotiations of various subjectivities. I explain how I negotiated my identity as a researcher in the field, what it entailed, and how my gender and marital status affected my interactions. I entered the field as an autonomous doctoral researcher but was reduced to dependency as a presumed unmarried woman. When I faced challenges working with a women’s collective on the issue of religion, it reoriented my study. Finally, I look at some ways in which I practiced self-care through seeking support from informal networks of friendships, support from my partner, journaling and giving time to myself to process the conflicting emotions I felt during fieldwork.